Smaller Lines

A friend of mine has also started her weight loss journey right around the same time as mine. We don't see or talk to each other much, but when it comes to matters of weight...we totally get each other. My husband is a big man, too, but it's different for men...so I'm thankful that she's here to understand what I'm going through like I understand what she's going through.

We have both always been big. I can remember as far back as first grade, a comment being made about my 6 year old belly. The person that said it was only trying to help me...but it started a series of negative thoughts about myself. Then when my grandparents offered to pay me to lose weight...I thought something was wrong with me. This friend of mine GETS that. She's been through it, too.

So she texts me yesterday to ask if I have a minute to talk...I reply sure and she calls me immediately. She tells me that she's having some body image issues and asks if I've had that problem. I replied no because I can't really tell a physical difference yet even though I've lost 20 pounds. We talked for a while about how and why we're doing it and how EASY it actually is. She made the comment that her son looked at her the other day and said "Momma, one of your lines is smaller." We then giggled because he was talking about a fat roll. But I so well understood what she meant.

I put on my clothes this morning and for the first time they felt a little different. Then I looked in the mirror...and for the first time in years...I had smaller lines, too.

2 months down...

It's been over a month since I last posted. We made some changes at the shop and I am now working in the kitchen as well as managing as best I can. It's made for some tiresome days and nights, and so I've neglected my blog. Working all day paired with trying to save money and cook meals ahead of time has had me pooped, but I'm still here.

It's been 2 months to do the day since we decided it was time to make a change. 63 days. This is the longest that I've stuck with a "life change." Each day has been a struggle...some good, some easy...some terrible! There are days that not a bad thing entered my body and there was this past week when we had no fridge and ate pizza for supper.

With the ins and outs and the good and the bad, I'm 20.2 pounds down in 63 days and I'm totally ok with that.

10#s4Weeks

I weighed this morning for the first time in a month. If the first scale was correct, I've lost 10 pounds.

10. Pounds.

I know it's JUST 10 pounds...but it feels like SO much. I didn't even exercise this past month, so I'm excited to put a little more physical activity in to it and see what happens.

More than 10 pounds...it's 4 weeks. 4 weeks of changing my food habits. I now have new food habits. A can of cheese dip no longer sounds amazing to me. A coke now tastes like pure sure syrup as opposed to the sweet nectar of life.

More than being proud of 10 pounds...I'm proud of 4 weeks!

3 Weeks

Yesterday marked 3 weeks of changes. I can't tell you how much weight I've lost because I just got my scale in yesterday. I had ignored the problem long enough that I had to order a scale off the internet because the ones at Wal-Mart won't weigh me. Yes, that stings a little. It also makes me feel pretty exposed...but it's no secret that I'm overweight.

So even though I don't know how much weight I've lost, I feel so much better. Yes, I've had my days that I slipped...and yes I felt bad for them. But I've overcome so much in three weeks. All the wonderfully delicious cheesy, greasy food I used to LOVE no longer even looks appetizing. I actually tried eating something this weekend that used to be a favorite of mine. Macho Nachos...home fried potato chips covered in queso, bbq sauce, and ground beef. And then usually I would get a side of feta dressing or ranch dressing to dip my chips in. I couldn't eat but about a quarter of what I got Saturday. The amount of grease and fat just made me sick to my stomach...which made me sad because I LOVE those things. Then I decided to just shoot the rest of my ranch dressing (which in the past was not a problem at all) and I almost puked.

So, even if I've gone these three weeks and not lost any weight...I've definitely made some big changes and there has definitely been progress. It's still not easy...and I'm sure it won't be any easier in 3 more weeks...but I can't wait to see how far I've come in 3 more weeks. :)

Emotions

This week has been pretty rough.

Which makes me emotional.

Which makes me want to eat.

I was so tired and emotionally and mentally drained yesterday that I couldn't even begin to think about wanting to cook. The thought of cooking made me want to beat baby bunnies. So yeah. We got a to go order from a place here. Chicken tenders and french fries and texas toast. I couldn't finish it, and I felt bad for eating it. Then tonight I made beef tacos using eye of round steaks with whole wheat tortillas. We had rice with corn and tomatoes for a side. Not exactly a balanced meal, but not too bad I guess.

I feel myself coming to that point where I'm ready to give up. We're almost at the end of week 3. Though we haven't started our program yet, we have made so many changes. And it's not that I want bad food...I'm just sort of tired of cooking. Ok, I'm REALLY tired of cooking.

I've been making dinner and taking the left overs and portioning out our meals so we can just pop them in the microwave later, but then I get tired of eating the same thing.

I think I just need to whine and kick my feet and cry and get it all out.

Any suggestions?

FoodLovers Fat Loss

It's no secret that I love food. None. I don't hide it. Ever. I love food. I love different flavors. I love salty. I love savory. I love sweet. I love sour. I love to love food. I love trying different places. I love trying different genres. I love food. I love it. I do. Get the point?

Low calorie, calorie counting, point counting diets don't work for me. I do good for about 3-4 days then I start to feel the walls closing in. I started breathing heavily and feel trapped...the sweats...the chills...the shakes...I need...a burger! And I eat one...then I'll have one the next day and maybe the next day, and I've ruined my "diet".

I also tried making "lifestyle" changes several times. I think the problem was that I changed too much too fast. I went from someone who ate what they want and was decently sedentary to someone who ate hardly anything and exercised 4 times a week. It may have worked for you, but it didn't for me. It takes two weeks to develop a habit...and I was always overwhelmed after a few days. In a controlled environment like The Biggest Loser, maybe you CAN change all at once...but I couldn't.

I always thought there was something wrong with me...

About 2 weeks ago, I was watching Food Network while the infomercials were still on. There was an infomercial on for The Food Lovers Fat Loss System. Normally I don't even pay attention to weight loss programs, but this one caught my eye. It claimed that you could still eat the things you love, you just have to do them in the right proportions to everything else. I was timid about it at first, but I did about an hours worth of internet research and found some great reviews on it.

As soon as I get my scales in, we are going to start this program. There's no gimmick, it's all about balancing fast carbs, slow carbs, and protein. I'm SO excited to maybe have finally found something that will REALLY work for me!

Hope

One thing that has given me hope while reading Stephanie's blog is that she lost 90 pounds in a year without ever stepping foot in a gym.

In the past, "losing weight" meant a combination of dieting and exercise that I had never done before. It was major change all at once. It was all or nothing. Go big or go home. So...more often than not, I ended up going home. It was too much for me to change those two large areas of my life all at once. I just couldn't handle it. It's enough to know that you are on a journey to do a complete remodel of yourself...to be losing your identity...but changing everything you know was a pretty big hit.

I'm not giving myself an excuse to not go to the gym. My dad just bought me and my husband a membership and I fully plan to use it, but it's nice to know that I DON'T have to change everything all at once. It's nice to know that those people that tell me that DON'T know everything like they think they do. It's nice to know that I'm NOT the failure that I thought I was because it was too much for me.

It gives me hope.