I've been a big girl since the day I was born. Well, no...that's not true. I was 2 weeks premature and tiny...but at some point I became a big girl and stayed that way. Being the fat kid becomes who you are, and I think at some point I embraced it. It's kind of like constantly telling a kid they're bad...even if they aren't bad, they WILL take on that identity. And truth be told, all those times when I was growing up that I was called fat, I wasn't fat. But it's what people chose to see about me, so I embraced it. My whole life and personality are based around being the fat girl. Now present day...yeah, you could put me in that category.
A while back I posted a status on Facebook about how losing weight wasn't JUST losing weight, it's losing my identity. So many people couldn't understand what I was talking about and, for them, that is great. I hope nobody ever has to understand that. However, it's true. If my whole life and personality is based around being the fat girl...what is it going to be like to not be the fat girl anymore? All of the excuses that are made because of being fat are thrown out of the window and you are faced with a world that you never thought you'd be faced with.
I don't go to bars/clubs, large gatherings, concerts, movies, travel, theme parks all because of my weight. There is so much I have given up because I was ashamed of who I was...but it was ok because I could hide behind that. I could be the fat girl who doesn't do anything. So, when I reach the point that I'm not "fat" anymore, all of the sudden I have to face all of these things (as trivial as they may be). But it's not just the social aspect...so many over weight people don't follow their dreams because of their weight, so many people don't try to find love because of their weight. And until you've been in the spot, you have NO idea.
So, first and foremost...if you want to read this blog, then I need you to let go of all prejudices and ideas you already have about fat people. I may be fat, but I'm still a person. I still have a beating heart and I still have emotions and wants and needs like all the skinny people. I need and deserve just as much respect as the hottest girl you can think of. You are welcome to leave encouraging words, but negativity will be deleted. I am my own negativity, so I don't need yours. :)
I do welcome you to join me on this journey as I find my way in to a healthy way of living and burst out of the cocoon that I've lived in for so long. I have wings, and I want to spread them.